Why Maritimus?
When I first began working in conservation, I had a serious case of imposter syndrome. Not only did I not look like most of my colleagues, I didn’t lead very outdoorsy lives like them either. I felt almost unqualified because outdoor hobbies were so common amongst the staff that they practically felt like a requirement for the job. (Although that clearly wasn’t the case; my especially incredible supervisor had hired me for a reason.) I didn’t have a lot, or any, outdoor hobbies. I loved my job and was grateful everyday that my work day had me walking through forests and prairies instead of sitting behind a desk. But during my free time, outside of work, I wasn’t doing a lot of nature related things. So I felt like an imposter: having an outdoorsy job while not being a completely outdoorsy person.
I actually felt confident enough to start down the path of conservation in the first place because I encountered corporate sustainability during college; a field that had less outdoorsy people working to bring care for the environment into their industries. That appealed to me. I loved nature and I had daydreamed about becoming an explorer for National Geographic. But I let that dream drift away a little because I didn’t think I had the lifestyle that would be suited to it. So when I learned about the sustainability department at my university and eventually started working there as an intern, I thought, what a cool way for me to incorporate protecting the environment into my career without becoming a whole new person.
The following year I interned at the Dallas Zoo, spent my lunches with elephants and otters, and thought, never mind, I want to be outside with my one true love of animals, not inside an office. That desire ran so deep that by the time I graduated, gave up looking for corporate sustainability jobs, and found myself working with a conservation organization, I had forgotten that I believed I didn’t belong there until I was already there.
So there I was, not-a-completely outdoorsy person with an outdoorsy job. It was a long while before I realized this was a strength I could lean on instead of a weakness to hide out of shame. Another word for the conservation educator title I held was “interpreter”. I interpreted science, nature, and wildlife information into lessons and programs that could be easily understood by my audience. An interpreter typically refers to someone translating between two languages. I had a foot in both worlds (urban and outdoors) and I used it to relate more deeply to those I taught. I wasn’t going to expect everyone to suddenly become outdoor fanatics just because I was teaching them to care about the natural environment around them.
To be clear, the other “outdoorsy” educators I worked with were not expecting that of anybody either. They all made wonderful teachers and are very kind people. But it was a predominate mindset that if you worked in conservation or it was a passion of yours, you had some sort of favorite outdoor hobby. Even in interviews I did for conservation orgs a question that often got asked was, “what’s your favorite outdoor activity?” That’s a fine question but what if I don’t have one? What if my favorite thing to do is sit inside all day and play video games? It isn’t, but my point is that a lack of nature related hobbies shouldn’t feel like a point deducted from your level of dedication to conservation. One time at work a few people who came in to give staff some training posed the question, “how many times have you camped outside on the bare ground,” as if it was a given that we would’ve done it at least once if we were the type of people to be working there. There were many micro-moments where having a rigorous outdoor lifestyle was the common assumption.
Any wonder it took me a while to get over my imposter syndrome?
Having been there myself, I think others may feel the same way, too. We may engage with conservation peripherally, not wanting to face it fully incase it asks for more change than we want to offer. But what I’ve come to understand, giving me further conviction in my place in the field, is that regardless of our lifestyle, whether ultra urban or tree hugging, the natural world plays the same significant role. We don’t have to step out of our comfort zones to recognize and appreciate that.
Instead, we can invite the outside in. No matter how detached we think we are from nature, our lifestyles are still wholly dependent upon it. From the water running through our drains to the insects crawling beneath our foundations, our lives are buzzing with nature, if only we stop to think of it that way.
It won’t always be easy. Sometimes that perspective will feel glorious and Disney princess-like; such as noticing a pretty bird perch in a tree and make its home right next to yours and feeling thrilled to be a part of its wonderful and wild world.
Other times that perspective requires a little more effort in appreciating. Like when I had ants crawling in through the floorboards of my home and attacking my pantry for weeks. My apartment’s management team’s only solution was to fumigate the gaps weekly in a futile attempt to get rid of them completely. Not only was the method ineffective, it was unnecessary. As hard as it was to keep in mind when the infestation was at its peak, the ants were rightfully my downstairs neighbors. I came and built my home on top of theirs, some level of coexistence had to be expected. We can’t and shouldn’t try to make them disappear. Let them live there; I’ll just close up my floorboards properly so they stop coming up.
If we want to protect this planet then we have to start with welcoming a little wildness into our own environments, coexisting equally with the pesky ants and the pretty birds because we understand that they are a part of our world as much as we are of theirs.
I want to help reorient how we see the natural world–especially for those who felt the way I did, as if the work of conservation could only involve a certain type of person, and especially to prevent anyone from ever thinking that way in the first place. Whether Maritimus encourages readers to embrace their wild side or to continue to appreciate nature from a distance, I hope it leads everyone to recognize that the natural world is everyone’s equally.
Nature is a part of all our lives and we, in all of our urban and modern glory, are a part of nature. What a fascinating and magnificent thing that is to be.
I hope you enjoy reading Maritimus.


